I'm a cryer.

I cry... pretty often.

I mean, I don't cry just out of the blue. You wouldn't find me in mid-conversation with you and start bawling my eyes out. (sometimes)

Unless its something to incite crying. Like having a conversation with a friend who is getting married, starting a new job, or is going through something hard. 

As you can tell from the title. I cry even more now. What's changed? 

I got married and I love Jose so much. (cringe? Maybe, but I'm proud of it!)

Ever since getting married, I would watch all the movies, except scary movies. (I'm too much of a scaredy cat and just don't like them.) I love movies. I cried when Cameron Diaz's character cries at the end of The Holiday (2006). I cried when the kids at the end of Rise of the Guardians (2012) believed they had the power in them all along to overcome the bad guy. I cried seeing Maia Kealoha, who played Lilo in the live-action remake of Lilo and Stitch (2025), and imagined what Jose and my future daughter would look like. 

When Lady Sybil, from Downton Abbey, passed from childbirth.

When Miguel from Coco (2017) played a song for his grandmother, Coco, just so that she wouldn't forget.

When Merida, from Brave (2012), almost thought she lost her mother forever, but was then turned back human!

When Rapunzel in Tangled (2010) held a dying Flynn Rider and with his dying breath said, "You are my new dream." *Eyes start tearing up*

But as I rewatch some of my favorite or new movies, whether its about losing someone, someone coming back, families reunited, love found, or love lost; it hits straight to my chest and I can feel it traveling, building up towards my face and out my eyes. It's as if, I know now. I know the cost. I know the gravity and feeling of the cost of having and never wanting to lose someone. I mean, I can't imagine losing members of my family, but I think being married adds another level. 

Gosh, I don't mean that losing anyone I know would be less than, but it puts things into perspective-- it adds to it in greater measure. It makes me appreciate the time and love that I do have with my friends and family.

WOW! Didn't expect to talk about the idea of death in this blog post. I was expecting the "awww's" and hope of being so in love that I can't imagine a life without them.

Jose and I have been married for 1 year and 3 months now (and I'm trying really hard not to start crying as I write this...lol), but I cannot imagine my life without him. 

There was one instance, while Jose and I were talking about Heaven. Jose is kind and he said something along the lines of, "Imagine the queue of people of those who you've helped lead to Jesus."

I respond and said, "I wouldn't be looking for that-- I'd be looking for you."

We both cried. 

I love being married to Jose and I'm excited for the different ways I'll get to see how precious and beautiful life, family, and love is. And I'm sure the more I learn and love, I'll cry even more then!

Thank you for reading!

Love,

MJ